4 Page Letter [part 1]

depression smells like
the skipped heartbeat that murmurs
to the pulse of absence


depression smells like
the pregnant pauses of past moments uncaptured
time's unscheduled lunch break
creating the phrase "be back in ten"
became the accepted lie of choice


depression smells like
the angst white women scratch down in bass tones and guitar riffs
because they never understood that a woman scorned
is a woman blessed


depression smells like
over-eating syntax with bulimic conjecture
pretending to believe the ideologies of anorexic candor
fully knowledgeable of silence's obesity


depression smells like
a summer cold with an allergic migraine
prancing victoriously in the haberdashery of one mental state


depression smells like
the lone ice cube in the tray missing its brethren
at the neglectful hands attached to the inconsiderate


depression smells like
the dance of the forbidden
where Eve helped Adam cum to the conclusion
that he wanted to be ignorant by choice


‎depression smells like
bad news a la carte
where the solutions of others are an expensive hindsight
the ecomonic down turn of your nickels and dimes
scream, soothing the nausea of a hungered belly


‎depression smells like
the tales of a 4th grade nothing
hanging themselves by the forgotten promises
bedsheet necklaces
lancet bracelets
because the reflective mirrored image never mouthed
I LOVE you in return


...and...


depression smells like
the smell
I no longer
want to
smell like
ME