"Momma's Worry" by TS Hawkins

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4 Page Letter [part 3]

face of malaise
plasters facades
in veneered dimples
and robotic placated
pleasantries. clef-hearted
transient pleading.
for change; cup-less
with all the beating
around the bush,
tumbling down
never seemed
palatable. down,
already was I...


4 Page Letter [part 2]

gin soaked tears
never dry on their own
they cascade down London fog
a salty mist mistaken for wayward condensation
"hold me until denial stops flowing through my spirit"


One Liner

...suffering in silence is the loudest I've ever smelled a soul singed raw...


4 Page Letter [part 1]

depression smells like
the skipped heartbeat that murmurs
to the pulse of absence

depression smells like
the pregnant pauses of past moments uncaptured
time's unscheduled lunch break
creating the phrase "be back in ten"
became the accepted lie of choice

depression smells like
the angst white women scratch down in bass tones and guitar riffs
because they never understood that a woman scorned
is a woman blessed

depression smells like
over-eating syntax with bulimic conjecture
pretending to believe the ideologies of anorexic candor
fully knowledgeable of silence's obesity

depression smells like
a summer cold with an allergic migraine
prancing victoriously in the haberdashery of one mental state

depression smells like
the lone ice cube in the tray missing its brethren
at the neglectful hands attached to the inconsiderate

depression smells like
the dance of the forbidden
where Eve helped Adam cum to the conclusion
that he wanted to be ignorant by choice

‎depression smells like
bad news a la carte
where the solutions of others are an expensive hindsight
the ecomonic down turn of your nickels and dimes
scream, soothing the nausea of a hungered belly

depression smells like
the tales of a 4th grade nothing
hanging themselves by the forgotten promises
bedsheet necklaces
lancet bracelets
because the reflective mirrored image never mouthed
I LOVE you in return


depression smells like
the smell
no longer
want to
smell like


Rest Peacefully [For Daddie]

but the words couldn't flow
     [watery orbs]
painted stalemates on cerebral canvassing
     [furled brow]
when the words wouldn't flow
     [saline release]
with you gone
     [satellite embrace]
     [roulette sobs]
     [divine silence]


Midnight Memories

met my plunderer at the corner of
"we did this once before" and "you've never left"
raped foresight of hindsight's luxury of heed
the past moonlights as daybreak's present
gift-wrapped in taciturn tears
morose-d in sequins 
delight me in something different...



I saw lightening up-close
the sky never looked more beautiful begging for release
I heard thunder lucubrate sonnets through the clouds
though no one could bear to listen because they were running from the truth
umbrella-ed fears, not wanting honesty to drip drop down their flesh
naked though I was
felt peace today


Dear Love

Dear Love,

Only see your name in my footprints...

Thank you for keeping me moving forward


Untitled #2

dodge-ball heartbeats
ricocheted against caged ribs
catching every sound
all the time


Dear Hindsight,

you are just that, behind.
when I tried to introduce you to foresight
the silence was deafening
and now you cast judgement
as if you have your finger on how I pulse...

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